Resolutions!

New Years is always such a neat time of year because I am always reminded of fresh starts! I love new beginnings... the thought of a clean slate... makes me smile! Every year the last week of December my mind starts racing! How am I going to do it better?!?! I am such a mess! This time I am going to do it right! This will be the year! New Year- New ME!

The list goes on and on through my head... I need to have better quiet times, pray more, maybe even read the Bible in a year, yes good idea the Chronological one so I can know the exact timing of events, need to eat better, exercise more, be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, volunteer, spend less money, have my house be in better order, cook more, definitely more sit down family meals!

It always involves some sort of resolve that if I could just get my act together... try a little harder! Then I can finally be _______ (fill in the blank) Be less lazy so I can be _______ eat less/exercise more so I can be _______ on and on it goes...

So the whole week before January 1st... I am just a slob... because you know- I better get it all in! Food, naps, shopping, more food, drink... December 31st, New Years Eve... I can feel the excitement of the New Me just around the corner, Whoo Hoo, I am pumped! Then inevitably it happens... the morning of Jan 1st comes and I Panic! Ugh... Really? Now? Then I say to myself, I can't start anything new on a Friday... Monday! Monday that is the day for new beginnings! The kids are still out of school I'll start Jan 4th! Yes! Then I will be a success! Who can start anything before a weekend? More resolve, Monday! Yes! I am fired up!

Then God gently reminded me over the weekend, Emmy, you can't do any of this yourself... I know God, I know, only You can do it (but still in my heart I am plotting away! I am going to do it this time! This will be different, I am fed up with me!) Then gently again God spoke to my heart, Emmy, surrender to Me! Lay it all down... give ME all that striving, wanting, longing! Come just sit on My lap and let it all go... beautiful just like HIM, tender, loving, gentle... peace! Even though I hadn't even started all of what I wanted to accomplish I was already exhausted! My burden is light... He spoke again... to my heart... and I was like Yes, Lord, Yes! I just collapsed in His arms, and wept at the thought... so freeing, so light... so sweetly reminded... I am nothing without Him, I am nothing without You Lord! One by one I laid my desires at His feet, and peace immediately set in... In ME you will have peace, In ME, only In ME! Yes Lord! Why do I always forget! Peace!

So "TRUE Surrender" that is what I long for this New Year! It is all about Him! Why is it so simple... yet so hard! The only way any of us will change IS through the power of the Holy Spirit! We know that in our minds but have we let that truth sink deep in our hearts? Do we really have any idea of how much He cares and longs for us! How much He wants us to live every moment through Him!


"I am my Beloved's, And His desire is for me!" Song of Solomon 7:10

Oh how I long for Real change... lasting change... change from inside out! I don't care if I loose another pound (well maybe), have a clean, organized house (well maybe), I am tired of myself... I need a Savior! I need to be renewed! I am hungry and thirsty Lord... I am weary of always trying on my own... help me lay it all at Your feet! When I take it back up... remind my heart! It is all about You! It is ALL about You!

He wants us girls... all of us! We are His Beloved! Isn't that freeing! Thank goodness... God is always about fresh starts... true and lasting fresh starts!

Lord Change us from the inside out! We need you!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33